Hello there,
Today is a new day. Different from yesterday because yesterday was Mother's Day. And we, meaning me and my strange to me now, how did my sweet baby become this absolute tyrannical 3 year old, did not have a smooth day at all. Granted, it was my first ever Mother's Day divorced and maybe I was surprisingly sad, but what I noticed immediately was that there was no one orchestrating a happy day filled with special things and well timed affections. Instead, I made us a nice breakfast and then proceeded to not enjoy my son throwing toys in the house and at me, yelling at me at the top of his lungs and telling he is hungry and then refusing to eat, all on constant repeat throughout the morning and well into the afternoon. Yes, I had a full-on cry fest before 9 am, and then we went to a friend's house for brunch, which was really nice. I wonder why they offered me a whiskey at 11 am, maybe I had mascara all over my cheeks...
I saw a red flag peeking out there, during my meltdown. I realized I might just partially be flirting with the edges of my worst idea of the cliche single mom-- cranky, if not downright angry, with my patience worn to the bone which leads me to fly off the handle, over discipline, burst into tears and pass out on the bean bag next to my son's bed at 8:30 pm. My moods are most glaring when I am feeling Isolated. Sometimes, not always, but sometimes, Yes, it really sucks being a Single Momista! And experiencing the feeling "Isolated" really sucks most of all. Some days I only speak to a 3 year old boy and rehash old conversations with adults in my head. Post it note to self: Make More Phone Calls!
But, here is a picture of me today, the day after Mother's Day, while my son was with his Dad (relief mixed with sad feelings. Ah, so many feelings involved with being a parent). I was in the park and called my Girlista friend so I would not feel so isolated. Amazingly, when I called her she was in the park just several yards from me and took my photo:
So I will say a few words of gratitude here:
I am grateful I have friends
I am grateful for Spring days
I am grateful for butterfly kites.
I am grateful I will take a parenting workshop "Children who act out at home"
I am grateful for my son's many, spontaneous bursts of squeezing affection.
Today is a new day. Different from yesterday because yesterday was Mother's Day. And we, meaning me and my strange to me now, how did my sweet baby become this absolute tyrannical 3 year old, did not have a smooth day at all. Granted, it was my first ever Mother's Day divorced and maybe I was surprisingly sad, but what I noticed immediately was that there was no one orchestrating a happy day filled with special things and well timed affections. Instead, I made us a nice breakfast and then proceeded to not enjoy my son throwing toys in the house and at me, yelling at me at the top of his lungs and telling he is hungry and then refusing to eat, all on constant repeat throughout the morning and well into the afternoon. Yes, I had a full-on cry fest before 9 am, and then we went to a friend's house for brunch, which was really nice. I wonder why they offered me a whiskey at 11 am, maybe I had mascara all over my cheeks...
 |
| Aligrrrrrtor |
I saw a red flag peeking out there, during my meltdown. I realized I might just partially be flirting with the edges of my worst idea of the cliche single mom-- cranky, if not downright angry, with my patience worn to the bone which leads me to fly off the handle, over discipline, burst into tears and pass out on the bean bag next to my son's bed at 8:30 pm. My moods are most glaring when I am feeling Isolated. Sometimes, not always, but sometimes, Yes, it really sucks being a Single Momista! And experiencing the feeling "Isolated" really sucks most of all. Some days I only speak to a 3 year old boy and rehash old conversations with adults in my head. Post it note to self: Make More Phone Calls!
But, here is a picture of me today, the day after Mother's Day, while my son was with his Dad (relief mixed with sad feelings. Ah, so many feelings involved with being a parent). I was in the park and called my Girlista friend so I would not feel so isolated. Amazingly, when I called her she was in the park just several yards from me and took my photo:
 |
| Sunny Spring day, Brooklyn |
So I will say a few words of gratitude here:
I am grateful I have friends
I am grateful for Spring days
I am grateful for butterfly kites.
I am grateful I will take a parenting workshop "Children who act out at home"
I am grateful for my son's many, spontaneous bursts of squeezing affection.
 |
| Yes, I have to clean my lens |
Stay tuned & true to yourself,
XO
Single Momista
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