Do more of what makes you happy

Hello there,

Last week I wrote about my friend's psychic telling me to do more of what makes my heart sing, to do what makes me happy.  What sage advice!  Maybe you find that to be an inspiring reminder too.  I might write about this topic for awhile, because it does seem like the best thing I can do for myself these days...

This is a loaded week for me because it includes the day my mother died- Hallow's eve.  Really it's the very early part of Nov 1, but Halloween is the marker.  Growing up I had a stepmother, but she was not a kind, nurturing or attentive replacement.  To put it plainly, my childhood was void of affection. My brother and I had our basic shelter, food and clothing needs met, but no love from the mother figure of the house.  There was no baking with the warm, delicious smells filling the house. There was no cuddling.  I certainly did not confide my secrets to my stepmother; I didn't even go to her when I was hurt.

I find now, as a healthy Single Momista, that much of my parenting is the opposite of what I was raised in.  It involves cuddling, snuggling, playing, listening, guiding.  Basically, I parent my son (el Sonno) the way I needed and wanted to be parented during my own childhood.  It's not always easy to navigate healthy parenting from a lack of experience (reading tons of parenting books is helpful) and I invent much of my parenting up as I go along.  But the most amazing part, along with my great relationship I have with el Sonno is that I am nurtured by being the mother I lacked as a child.  And this certainly makes my heart sing.  

So to feel more of that happy heart, this morning I made muffins.  And wow, does my apartment smell good!  Later, when el Sonno returns from his dad's house, we will bake cupcakes in honor of my mother for Halloween.  Orange and black and spooky and delicious.  Sadness, joy, laughter and nurturing all mixed together in a warm kitchen.  We baked muffins and brownies last week and we both loved it, so we are doing it again with cupcakes!  Repeat the happiness.  Do more of what makes you happy.

XO
Single Momista

Soar like an Eagle

3rd Eye.  Photo credit goes to my son

Hello everyone,

How to begin... perhaps like this: With my hands over my face I cried to my friend, "I feel trapped!" The next day she took me uptown to her psychic.  Behind a curtain that separated us from the hair salon, the spirits communicated that I should be writing... And one and a half years later, here I am, back on Single Momista!  Life intervenes.  Right? Right.  Plus I felt a lot of pressure from the spirits.  

Because they also said I "should do what makes my heart sing."  

Now that right there was a lot to think about.  

Remember that I came to this session with the psychic because I told my friend that I felt trapped. So clearly, I wasn't investing very much into my personal happiness at the time.  In hindsight, leaving my marriage five years ago certainly put me on the path of doing what makes me happy, even though it was very tough decision at the time and not always breezy in the day to day.  I've lived these years as a Single Momista feeling like I'm doggie paddling to keep my nose above water and then recuperating my energy in my down time.  I wasn't aware I had put joy aside because I was doing what you do when you parent a 3, 4, 5, 6, and now 7-year old son.  My "fun" consisted of talking to my girlfriends, reading and falling asleep at 8 PM.  Yes, it's pretty much the same today.  Do not call after 8 PM and expect to talk to me.  My friend had a birthday party that started at 9; I didn't even consider that she meant at night.  My other friend said that my son will not have to sneak out of my house when he's older; all he has to do is ask if I want to snuggle at bedtime and BAM, I'm out like a light and he's free to do what he wants.  Yes, I do love sleeping (and I'm an early riser) but I'm trying to emphasize that the spirits had a point.  Right here under my desk I see grey clothed Surviving strong arming Thriving, who's in the sparkly dress. Feeling Responsible squints menacingly at Fun.  So being told that I should basically prioritize joy was a lot for me to absorb.  I know all this might sound strange, but, I mean, the spirits... they know things, right?  They've been here, they've been there.  They have perspective.  They see the big picture.  My mother is a spirit, she died when I was a 22-month old.  My grandmothers are spirits too.  

So, slowly I began.  I took the ceramics course I'd been wanting to take for several years.  I built a pollinator garden slash bird habitat at my son's school (a combination of public school PTA work and a singing heart activity).  I started a performance project with a collaborator.  I painted watercolors of my hands.  I became a certified Feng Shui consultant.  And recently, when I was wondering if I should just buckle down and get a job at the gas company (I love that utility belt) I went to my astrologer and she confirmed everything that the psychic said and told me much, much more.  Bottom line, I should soar like an eagle and write. 

So, that brings me here, to Single Momista.  My goal is to write and see where it leads.  I originally began the blog in 2011 to communicate with other parents who were in similar situations.  Several years on, I'm still a Single Momista and, apparently, I still have stuff to communicate.  If you related to anything I wrote here, please leave me a comment!  I'd love to hear from you. 

XO Single Momista