Hi
Im just trying to keep writing every week. Life is tough right now and I am exhausted. I am considering moving to where I have family-- being a Single Momista in the city with an annoying (being extremely generous here) ex and no family around is getting too hard for me. The other night I was vomiting for an hour and I still had to get up and take my son to daycare. I would have loved to have had my dad nearby to call on for help.
I'm currently looking for a Parent Coordinator- someone to help set up the visitation schedule for my son, according to what he can handle right now at age 3. I did not know about this professional when I was getting divorced; I don't remember my lawyer suggest that I talk to someone like this. But I know about it now and I might have some leads. My ex, who does not have custody, is such a bully!! He says he will take me to court if I withdraw one of his visitation days. Can he really do that if he doesn't have custody? I think having my son sleep at my house at least 4 days in a row will create more structure, more routine and more stability for him (my son). And that is my goal- to nurture a well adjusted child.
But my ex is freaking out. Meanwhile, he can not show up for his Saturday night. And he is planning to be away with his girlfriend over Father's Day. What a hypocrite.
Again, I repeat, I am so exhausted. I thought divorcing him would be the end of my problems with him, but they continue.
The other weekend he had my son for 24 hours. In that time he introduced him to his girlfriend and her 2 kids. Without telling me first. So I find out from my child, who is screaming about it when he comes back to me. And I'm not prepared to console him, because I am just barely deciphering what the issue is from in between his screams. I really have a classic A-hole ex husband- pursuit of his own happiness at the expense of anyone else.
I need more distance from him, maybe physically, with several states separating us, but definitely distance created by More Boundaries and Clear Rules. Limitations set by the court, someone of authority, providing me with a piece of paper to refer my crazy ex towards. On the other hand, he rejects authority, so today I feel squashed, like I'm in a no-win situation. My only M.O. is to just keep saying what I want with a smile and go for it. He can eat the dust all my "proactions" kick up.
Next time I write I hope to be well rested and in a happy place. Getting there will definitely involve taking anti depressants. The rest of scene might look like me sitting on my new bed, with my new AC blasting, drinking some really good iced tea. And I will be making something with clay- that's what I'm thinking about more and more- ceramics. Also in this dream scenario, people will be leaving comments on my blog!! Even simple ones like, your blog is changing my life, you are an awesome writer, keep it up, hang in there friend, you are not alone, my ex sucks too, my ex died and my problems with him ended, by all means, invest the $300 into pottery classes, you are an artist, don't lose your dreams, happy mom = happy kid, your kid is so lucky, you are so hilarious, it does get better, Momista, you will look back on this one day and be so proud of yourself.
Ciao for now,
XO
Single Momista
Im just trying to keep writing every week. Life is tough right now and I am exhausted. I am considering moving to where I have family-- being a Single Momista in the city with an annoying (being extremely generous here) ex and no family around is getting too hard for me. The other night I was vomiting for an hour and I still had to get up and take my son to daycare. I would have loved to have had my dad nearby to call on for help.
I'm currently looking for a Parent Coordinator- someone to help set up the visitation schedule for my son, according to what he can handle right now at age 3. I did not know about this professional when I was getting divorced; I don't remember my lawyer suggest that I talk to someone like this. But I know about it now and I might have some leads. My ex, who does not have custody, is such a bully!! He says he will take me to court if I withdraw one of his visitation days. Can he really do that if he doesn't have custody? I think having my son sleep at my house at least 4 days in a row will create more structure, more routine and more stability for him (my son). And that is my goal- to nurture a well adjusted child.
But my ex is freaking out. Meanwhile, he can not show up for his Saturday night. And he is planning to be away with his girlfriend over Father's Day. What a hypocrite.
Again, I repeat, I am so exhausted. I thought divorcing him would be the end of my problems with him, but they continue.
The other weekend he had my son for 24 hours. In that time he introduced him to his girlfriend and her 2 kids. Without telling me first. So I find out from my child, who is screaming about it when he comes back to me. And I'm not prepared to console him, because I am just barely deciphering what the issue is from in between his screams. I really have a classic A-hole ex husband- pursuit of his own happiness at the expense of anyone else.
I need more distance from him, maybe physically, with several states separating us, but definitely distance created by More Boundaries and Clear Rules. Limitations set by the court, someone of authority, providing me with a piece of paper to refer my crazy ex towards. On the other hand, he rejects authority, so today I feel squashed, like I'm in a no-win situation. My only M.O. is to just keep saying what I want with a smile and go for it. He can eat the dust all my "proactions" kick up.
 |
| a nice moss covered rock |
XO
Single Momista
I have been reading along and thinking of you. I don't have any words, just positive vibes. Let me know if there is anything I can do. Lucy
ReplyDeleteI feel you sister. Same here! it doesnt stop, but clear rules and days in a row help indeed.
ReplyDeleteThank you for commenting! I feel connected!
ReplyDelete