The feelings that shared visitation brings up

Hello Reader,

A few things on my mind this week:

Getting my son a pet that he can hug and run around with.
All the grey in my hair.
How I miss my son when he is at his dad's.

petting Papa the Cat

Starting at the top of my list- my son wants a cuddly pet friend. Just about everyday of the week we go to our local pet store to pet Papa The Cat, the giant mouser seen in the image above. And my son has named all the feral cats in our neighborhood and keeps his eyes out for them in case they are basking in the sun, just waiting for him to pass by. After a year of this, a couple of them have become friendly towards us and I do let him pet the much less mangy one of the bunch if we are not eating any snacks at the time and are near home so can wash his hands fairly quickly. I also let him pick up feathers in the park, although I am pretty sure they are pigeon feathers. I want my son to feel good about animals and nature so I pretend, for my sake, that the feathers have fallen from more exotic birds. (We have seen a hawk in our park). We have the zoo and the Botanic Garden a ten minute walk away, but we also have feral cat friends and pigeon feathers. The pet idea is most likely going to take a year or longer to come to fruition, but I am starting to consider some tail wagging options. I realize that when my son is at his father's house it will be me and the pet at my house. And of course I am the one currently taking care of Freddy, my son's fish. Hm mm, a decision to be weighed carefully.

I will skip the part about my grey hair. But if you want to leave a comment about your experience with grey hair and dating I would love to hear about it!

On to how I miss my son when he is at his father's house. My goodness, I sure do. This is the bittersweet part of my Single Momista life- the frequent and repeated pain of missing my son when he is staying over at his dad's house. Yes, it certainly is nice have some "me time" and to write this blog instead of dealing with the hassle around bath time. And I do relish the couple mornings a week I can just sit and stare into space, uninterrupted, with a cup of very hot tea. My other mornings involve lukewarm tea and seemingly benign but quickly revealed to be trick questions such as Mommy who do you think I am from the movie? What movie? You know what movie (accompanied by stomping or whining or both). Which provokes my early morning pleas to a Higher Power. But when my son is at his dad's and I am out walking, appearing to be an ordinary, solitary person, I have a secret- I am also a sad person. I am missing my preschool son. I know for my small family's sanity it is important that I take time for myself. And I know it is important that my son and his dad have a relationship. The visitation is written into my divorce papers for both these reasons. So far it seems to be good for everyone in the long run. But the short run is not all fun for Single Momista. Perhaps this explains some of my willingness to even consider the crazy idea of adding a pet to my responsibilities.

the High Line, NYC

bonsai at botanic garden

                                     

Until next time,

XO

Single Momista